/page/2

Fabric Market Hanoi, Vietnam

Lesbians are more likely to have orgasms than straight women

Well… yep!

Teaching English in a kindergarten in Vietnam, for English class the kids are assigned English names. Devastated I did not get to choose the names for them myself because;

a) No Asian toddler should have to try so hard to introduce herself “I AM SHEEEUUURRRRUUUAAAA!!!” (Sheila)

b) Larry will be upset when she realises her name is not actually a princess name like I told her it was (no idea who assigned these names)

c) I would have named them after Game of Thrones characters. It would have been adorable. ”DAENERYS STORMBORN OF THE HOUSE TARGARYEN FIRST OF YOUR NAME AND LADY REGENT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS GET THAT FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE AND SIT DOWN IN YOUR TINY PLASTIC YELLOW CHAIR THIS INSTANT!!”

  • HEY STUDENT WHAT IS THAT!?
  • No.
  • IS THAT A MAGAZINE!?
  • No.
  • IT IS! IT IS A MAGAZINE!
  • Please stop.
  • IT IS A VIETNAMESE MAGAZINE! BUT THIS IS ENGLISH CLASS!
  • I am sorry. Please. No.
  • WHAT ARE YOU READING ABOUT!?
  • Noooooo.
  • IS THAT SAILOR MOON!?
  • Nooooooooooo.
  • EXCELLENT! WELL I DON'T UNDERSTAND VIETNAMESE SO FOR THE NEXT CLASS I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME A TWO MINUTE ORAL PRESENTATION ON SAILOR MOON AND EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED ABOUT SAILOR MOON FROM THAT MAGAZINE!!
  • Pleeeeaaase noooooooo.....
  • YAY! ENGLISH!

Fair City - Intelligent drama.....

For those of you who appreciate Irish drama/rants about Irish drama.

nerdsandgamersftw:

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOUR DOING! MOTHERFUCKING CAT ARMOR!!!

Via  Etsy

hoganddice did ye get a cat?

(via plaguesandpuppies)

These lads are available for weddings. If I don’t Irish dance down the aisle to this the entire day will be a waste!

Sign our petition - Action On Hearing Loss: RNID

Having a hearing aid means:

- not fighting with my partner because I can’t communicate with her.

- hearing my niece and nephews.

- birds! They are everywhere, how cool are those feathery lil guys and gals?

- not being afraid to go new places alone.

- not pissing people off asking them to repeat themselves.

- not getting yelled at because it pisses people off when you ask them to repeat themselves.

- not crying yourself to sleep because you aren’t sure why people were yelling at you all day.

- not being frightened to speak.

- having friends I can laugh with because I can hear the jokes now.

- realising my partner is happier because we haven’t fought in ages.

- hearing the bass in your favourite song for the first time in your life. 

Soooo, if some of you could sign this petition. That would be wonderful. Thank you.

I killed a Huntsman spider today. 

It was in my living room touchin’ all up mah stuff (floor) so I had to kill it. I was coming downstairs with a long handled dustpan and brush and I saw this STUPID GIANT BASTARD TRYING TO SNEAK ACROSS THE FLOOR! YOU ARE BLACK/BROWN SPIDER!! THE TILES ON THE FLOOR ARE GREEN!! SPREADING YOUR LEGS OUT AND MOVING SLOWLY AND CLOSE TO THE FLOOR ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A GIANTER THAN GIANT CREEPING DEATH SPIDER IT IS NOT SUBTLE I HATE YOU!! It saw me getting close so it stopped moving. Where did you go giant spider? Oh! You are RIGHT THERE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE MOVING HOW DID YOU SURVIVE THIS LONG I CAN SEE YOU YOU GIANT BASTARD!!! 

I hit it with the dustpan. It got away under the sofa.

I pulled the sofa out and it scuttled out. I hit it with the dustpan again and knocked it’s leg off. Didn’t even slow it down. Went under the other sofa

Pulled the other sofa out and it scuttled out. I sprayed it with Raid. It got away back to the FIRST FUCKING SOFA STAY STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU YOU SPEEDY FUCK DEMON!!

I moved the sofa again and it scuttled under the chair for a change of scenery. I hit it with the brush/broom on it’s way. IT. GOT. AWAY.

I kicked the chair and it ran under the coffee table and I kicked the coffee table and sprayed it with so much Raid my throat burned. It scuttled drunkenly to a corner where stopped moving and curled up. I watched it twitch and then be still. 

I watched it some more.

It twitched once more.

Then I just watched. 

Satisfied it wasn’t moving anymore I went to pick up the dustpan and brush, handy for killing AND hiding the body. 

The spider was gone…

about 3 inches to the left of where I had left it. I smashed it with the dustpan repeatedly until I heard a crunch. I swept it up. I left. 

I sat on the bus going away from my house thinking I need to buy coffee and toilet paper… and burn the house down.

Fabric Market Hanoi, Vietnam

Lesbians are more likely to have orgasms than straight women

Well… yep!

Teaching English in a kindergarten in Vietnam, for English class the kids are assigned English names. Devastated I did not get to choose the names for them myself because;

a) No Asian toddler should have to try so hard to introduce herself “I AM SHEEEUUURRRRUUUAAAA!!!” (Sheila)

b) Larry will be upset when she realises her name is not actually a princess name like I told her it was (no idea who assigned these names)

c) I would have named them after Game of Thrones characters. It would have been adorable. ”DAENERYS STORMBORN OF THE HOUSE TARGARYEN FIRST OF YOUR NAME AND LADY REGENT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS GET THAT FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE AND SIT DOWN IN YOUR TINY PLASTIC YELLOW CHAIR THIS INSTANT!!”

  • HEY STUDENT WHAT IS THAT!?
  • No.
  • IS THAT A MAGAZINE!?
  • No.
  • IT IS! IT IS A MAGAZINE!
  • Please stop.
  • IT IS A VIETNAMESE MAGAZINE! BUT THIS IS ENGLISH CLASS!
  • I am sorry. Please. No.
  • WHAT ARE YOU READING ABOUT!?
  • Noooooo.
  • IS THAT SAILOR MOON!?
  • Nooooooooooo.
  • EXCELLENT! WELL I DON'T UNDERSTAND VIETNAMESE SO FOR THE NEXT CLASS I'D LIKE YOU TO GIVE ME A TWO MINUTE ORAL PRESENTATION ON SAILOR MOON AND EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED ABOUT SAILOR MOON FROM THAT MAGAZINE!!
  • Pleeeeaaase noooooooo.....
  • YAY! ENGLISH!

Fair City - Intelligent drama.....

For those of you who appreciate Irish drama/rants about Irish drama.

nerdsandgamersftw:

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOUR DOING! MOTHERFUCKING CAT ARMOR!!!

Via  Etsy

hoganddice did ye get a cat?

(via plaguesandpuppies)

These lads are available for weddings. If I don’t Irish dance down the aisle to this the entire day will be a waste!

Sign our petition - Action On Hearing Loss: RNID

Having a hearing aid means:

- not fighting with my partner because I can’t communicate with her.

- hearing my niece and nephews.

- birds! They are everywhere, how cool are those feathery lil guys and gals?

- not being afraid to go new places alone.

- not pissing people off asking them to repeat themselves.

- not getting yelled at because it pisses people off when you ask them to repeat themselves.

- not crying yourself to sleep because you aren’t sure why people were yelling at you all day.

- not being frightened to speak.

- having friends I can laugh with because I can hear the jokes now.

- realising my partner is happier because we haven’t fought in ages.

- hearing the bass in your favourite song for the first time in your life. 

Soooo, if some of you could sign this petition. That would be wonderful. Thank you.

I killed a Huntsman spider today. 

It was in my living room touchin’ all up mah stuff (floor) so I had to kill it. I was coming downstairs with a long handled dustpan and brush and I saw this STUPID GIANT BASTARD TRYING TO SNEAK ACROSS THE FLOOR! YOU ARE BLACK/BROWN SPIDER!! THE TILES ON THE FLOOR ARE GREEN!! SPREADING YOUR LEGS OUT AND MOVING SLOWLY AND CLOSE TO THE FLOOR ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A GIANTER THAN GIANT CREEPING DEATH SPIDER IT IS NOT SUBTLE I HATE YOU!! It saw me getting close so it stopped moving. Where did you go giant spider? Oh! You are RIGHT THERE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE MOVING HOW DID YOU SURVIVE THIS LONG I CAN SEE YOU YOU GIANT BASTARD!!! 

I hit it with the dustpan. It got away under the sofa.

I pulled the sofa out and it scuttled out. I hit it with the dustpan again and knocked it’s leg off. Didn’t even slow it down. Went under the other sofa

Pulled the other sofa out and it scuttled out. I sprayed it with Raid. It got away back to the FIRST FUCKING SOFA STAY STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU YOU SPEEDY FUCK DEMON!!

I moved the sofa again and it scuttled under the chair for a change of scenery. I hit it with the brush/broom on it’s way. IT. GOT. AWAY.

I kicked the chair and it ran under the coffee table and I kicked the coffee table and sprayed it with so much Raid my throat burned. It scuttled drunkenly to a corner where stopped moving and curled up. I watched it twitch and then be still. 

I watched it some more.

It twitched once more.

Then I just watched. 

Satisfied it wasn’t moving anymore I went to pick up the dustpan and brush, handy for killing AND hiding the body. 

The spider was gone…

about 3 inches to the left of where I had left it. I smashed it with the dustpan repeatedly until I heard a crunch. I swept it up. I left. 

I sat on the bus going away from my house thinking I need to buy coffee and toilet paper… and burn the house down.

About:

and always paddle your own canoe

Following: